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I’m not a fan of the 4th of July. The American Empire has been crumbling for about the past 14 years or so (possibly longer) because… all Empires fall. We’re in a constant state of Us vs. Them, a philosophical civil war that will not end civilly. America will collapse in on itself within my lifetime and as far as I’m concerned this is nothing to get happy and excited about. There is nothing to celebrate right now, patriotically. For ever small bit of progress the country makes toward, I dunno, making the quickly slipping American Dream a reality for EVERYONE, we take about 100 steps back and fuck over another large portion of the populace.

Non-politically, I fucking hate fireworks. I’m not 6. I’ve seen them before, there’s nothing new here. Honestly, when I watched Land of the Dead and they called fireworks “Skyflowers” and used them to distract slack-jawed zombies, I’ve pretty much turned off on them. It certainly doesn’t help that my neighborhood is full of white trash pieces of shit that will set these goddamn things off whenever they feel like it – 4th of July, 10th of May, 26th of September, whenever – as long as there’s a cube of Bud and a roadtrip to Indiana, they’ll set off fireworks, ruining the “specialness” of it. Even if I liked fireworks, there’s a limit. Starting the “festivities” at 6pm and not stopping ’til after Midnight – that’s far too much. Fucking redneck assholes. Some of us have jobs and need to be up at 5am.

Also, no one invited me to any kind of cookout.

I did watch Waxwork though, in between explosions. Pretty fun, goofy horror movie that gets to be all sorts of different horror movies in one. Plus, it’s got Billy from Gremlins in it, not in a Gremlins movie, and the bad guy from Tron. And a midget/dwarf/whatever.

3 comments

    • Bruce on July 5, 2013 at 10:20 am

    I agree in the death of America thing. That’s why I’ve been brushing up on my Canadian.

    Waxworks two is better. It has Bruce Campbell in it!

    • Eric on July 5, 2013 at 10:24 am
      Author

    It’s on the disc!

    • Kathleen on July 8, 2013 at 10:37 pm

    It was when I first saw Waxwork and cracked up when the guy got torn in half that I realized something was wrong with me. Also when I decided to embrace it.

    The hillbillies in my neighborhood let off the fireworks until 2 am – in the pouring rain. They didn’t even spark in the sky because they immediately got wet. But it did not stop the hillbillies. Oh no it did not.

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