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Drawing this actually felt like drawing and not just a daily chore I’ve been forcing myself to do. I still feel every last bit of pain and twistedness in my heart, brain and soul, but have not broken down completely in about a day and a half. Progress? The hardest is part is that through it all, I just want to reach out and comfort her and take her pain into mine so that she won’t go through this too.

I keep myself distracted. My friends… i don’t realize how much they mean to me sometimes. They’ve been fantastic this past week, and I am sure I will drain them of all their goodwill before this is all over.

Dumb movies have helped too. Saw AVENGERS 2, and greatly enjoyed it. Hadn’t planned on seeing it so soon, but again, necessary distractions. I cannot be alone with my thoughts. Also watched BEERFEST, SUPER TROOPERS, and HOT ROD. All ridiculous, hilarious and stupid. Forced my friend to watch some UNBREAKABLE KIMMY SCHMIDT. He enjoyed it, I think.

Tonight and tomorrow, I force the full weight of my sadness onto my parents. They will be unsupportive and unsure, but they will be people in the same room as me.