Sorta requested by Matt Brassfield. He actually requested Mario, but as I drew it, it became Luigi by accident.
096. Luigi
095
Still heartbroken, still empty. The crying has (mostly) stopped. I actually drew for fun yesterday. This is not what I drew.
094
Spent a few hours awake by myself last night. I did okay. Random things on tv made me cry for no real reason. I watched a movie called WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE, in my quest for dumb comedies. It was mostly more dumb than funny, sadly. It’s about a corporate retreat on a tropical island in which Rob Huebel (who I like in numerous things) goes insane and turns things into a “Lord of the Flies” situation. Jean Claude Van Damme fights a tiger. There are your highlights.
If anyone has more dumb comedy recommendations on Netflix, I’m kinda desperate. When you spend most of your time watching horror movies, the algorithim leans more heavily toward one direction than the other.
093
Drawing this actually felt like drawing and not just a daily chore I’ve been forcing myself to do. I still feel every last bit of pain and twistedness in my heart, brain and soul, but have not broken down completely in about a day and a half. Progress? The hardest is part is that through it all, I just want to reach out and comfort her and take her pain into mine so that she won’t go through this too.
I keep myself distracted. My friends… i don’t realize how much they mean to me sometimes. They’ve been fantastic this past week, and I am sure I will drain them of all their goodwill before this is all over.
Dumb movies have helped too. Saw AVENGERS 2, and greatly enjoyed it. Hadn’t planned on seeing it so soon, but again, necessary distractions. I cannot be alone with my thoughts. Also watched BEERFEST, SUPER TROOPERS, and HOT ROD. All ridiculous, hilarious and stupid. Forced my friend to watch some UNBREAKABLE KIMMY SCHMIDT. He enjoyed it, I think.
Tonight and tomorrow, I force the full weight of my sadness onto my parents. They will be unsupportive and unsure, but they will be people in the same room as me.
092
It’s not getting easier. But, it’s not getting worse.
091
Never been one to channel my emotions into my art. With my current state of mind its hard not to, but at the same time, it’s not enough. The recurring theme of “sad monster” seems to be apt though. It will get better, but right now, I am lost in the void, and it seems like it won’t ever end.
090
All I ever wanted to be was a better man and a better artist. I tried, and in some ways succeeded. Thank you for your support and love.
089
The face I now wear.
