69. Dr. Death


Dammit, I think I always forget to celebrate the 69th post.

The other day, I watched a movie called Madhouse starring Vincent Price and Peter Cushing. It was fun. Not so much a horror movie as it was more like a gorier, longer episode of “Murder She Wrote”. It features Price as a washed-up, aging horror actor who is convinced to revive his best known character for a new TV series – Dr. Death. Soon, cast and crew are murdered in gruesome ways with Dr. Death as the suspected culprit, and Price must prove he is innocent or discover something truly horrific about himself.

I liked the look the of the character, but don’t think I pulled it off very well here. Ah fuck.

68. Silver Surfer


My computer is now into day 3 of running a chkdsk. So, no scanner. Camera phone to the mediocre rescue once again!

67. Cappy 'Merka


4/7/13
Scarecrows. Weird, but not in a bad way horror movie about a group of thieves who are stalked and killed by undead scarecrows.

66. Blacula


Feeling a little better today. All I want to do, though, is veg out and play video games. Cannot. Will not.

So as I ate dinner last night, I flipped through the channels to find that Scream Blacula Scream (the sequel to Blacula, which I’ve never seen) was on tv. And I watched it. It’s terrible and awesome. And Pam Grier is in it. So I drew the character.

Also watched:

TerrorVision. Terribly cheesy yet dumb fun 80s horror schlock. But it knows what it is and isn’t trying to be anything different.

The Resurrected. Or “Shatterbrain”, according to IMDB. It’s an early 90s adaptation of the HP Lovecraft story “The Case of Charles Dexter Ward” by Dan O’Bannon, who wrote ALIEN, and wrote and directed RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD. Also starring Jack’s Dad from LOST, the blonde chick from HERMAN’S HEAD and Chris Sarandon from being interviewed on Gutter Trash once. It’s okay.

The thing that really made both movies watchable were the practical special effects. C’mon Hollywood, get your shit together and stop using CG as a crutch. A lot of this stuff can be done on camera cheaply and quickly!

65


Everyone can still go fuck themselves.

4/05/12
The Tall Man. Written and directed by the guy who made the film Martyrs, a fantastic french horror film. As good as Martyrs was, this was equally as dull. The strain to be twisty caused this movie to collapse under itself. Plus, there’s a voiceover, which usually bodes poorly. Also Jessica Biel is not good at things. There are some really interesting ideas here, just everything else about it doesn’t work.

Celluloid Bloodbath. A collection of grindhouse and horror trailers, with a little documentary thrown in. It was fun, would have been better with someone else to marvel at the awfulness of the trailers.

Shut Up, Little Man. A documentary about two guys who recorded their drunk neighbors’ nightly fights and the fame gained by the underground trading of the tapes of these recordings. Funny and interesting and runs a gamut of emotions.

64. Spoiler


So yesterday, I tried to greet the world with some positivity, and the world slapped me in the face and spat on me.

So hey. Go eat a bag of dicks, everyone.

Fuck off and die, world.

63


The quote on the post-it is from a fantastic podcast called Superego. Go find it. Also some budgeting math.

I have been watching Bate’s Motel. I will stop watching it in a few episodes, I think.

However, I’m in for the show Hannibal which just aired. I liked it. Mads Mikkelson (sp?) is pretty good as Dr. Lecter, though his accent is a bit thick and I’ve been having a hard time with my hearing lately. The only thing I don’t particularly like in this show is the portrayal of Will Graham. The actor is fine and the character itself is fine, but it’s not the Will Graham from Manhunter or Red Dragon. I get why – in order to seperate itself and be its own beast. I just don’t like the nervousness and twitchiness of the character presented.

***
So, I had this thought today.

I’m barely doing anything with my life. I do these sketch-a-day drawings, which so far is a mass of bored-time post-it notes. There’s nothing of substance here, but I’m okay with that. The thing is that I am the most unmotivated, procrastinaty person I know, and part of that stems from both a fear of failure and fear of success. I think I’m awful at what I do, but I also think I’m pretty great and it hurts me deeply when not everyone rushes here to heap massive amounts of praise upon my dumb post-it note sketches. I have three podcasts that I can’t figure out how to measure our listenership, but I’m pretty sure it’s at a zero for each. The shows are dumb and no one should listen and yet the shows are fucking great and everyone should listen and you wound me by not quoting us verbatim.

What I do is inconsequential and will not change any lives – mine most of all. The sketch-a-day and the podcasts – these are not the dreams I had as a kid or teenager or young adult. I don’t think I even want to go back to those dreams I had. I’m mostly okay with these things I’m doing. I could do them better and I could grow them bigger, but that’ll come in time. I think. I hope. I’m trying, somewhat. But the thing is – I’m doing this.

I’m posting a sketch a day. I’m doing multiple podcasts. These mean nothing and a lot of it is bad, but they are a part of me and my creative self and output. I can point to them and say “there.” I get better a little bit at a time, but the important thing is that I’m getting over the absolute fear of failure. I’m putting myself – my work and my name – out there for the public to consume, criticize and mostly ignore. And I’m mostly fine about it.

And that’s the thing. I have friends, believe it or not. Some of these friends have aspirations to creativty. I try to encourage them. I really do. They may not be the greatest artists or writers around, or even that I have known personally. But they’ll never know because they refuse to show the world what they’re doing, for whatever reasons. Unsure, unconfident, not ready to face the judgment and criticism of strangers. Lazy, unmotivated, procrastinaty. Fearful or success, fearful of failure. All the things I still go through on a daily basis.

I am the last person on earth who should be writing this. This is not me. I am not positive people. But I am trying. And I’d like my friends to try, too. Whatever their things – art, crafts, writing, some form of all of the above – I want to see the products of their minds, talents and skills. I want to see them grow and become better. I want them to join me out in the open with their talents and lets all help each other face all that other crap I’ve mentioned multiple times already. This is your private public shaming, folks who should know who they are and what they’ve done to deserve this. I’m tired of telling you privately you should try something and so I’m telling you publicly that you should try something.

That’s a little pep talk coming atcha at 11:33pm from the most cynical apathetic man in the world. How you like dem abbles?

62

61


Post-it doodle. I suppose doodle may be stretching the term here a bit. Post-it ART. There.

Ant-Man-ish guy, I just kinda kept going throughout the day at work while waiting for searches and replaces and files to load. But this is what boredom, post-its, a variety of color gel pens, sharpies, hilighters and white-out can do.

60. Karnak


I’mma have to tackle the Inhumans more fully some time.

3/31/13
Extract. Mike Judge movie that I think got unfairly maligned. Sure, it’s not as good or as smart as Office Space, Idiocracy or even Beavis & Butthead Do America, but it is funny. It’s definitely better than any episode of King of the Hill.

Down and Out in Beverly Hills. I remember this being a huge deal when I was like 9. I didn’t get it.

Mother, Jugs & Speed. Soon to be reviewed on Gutter Trash.